Dead cats under the couch. Tonight at 10

I think we’ve reached a new level of exploitation. Never mind violence, nudity and whatever the hell Jerry Springer decides to crap out. Mental illness is the new kid in town. Namely, Hoarding, a debilitating form of OCD that makes people unable to throw anything out. The result? Filthy, incredibly cluttered homes. So bad, that in many cases, it’s not uncommon to find dead cat or animal under a pile of 25-year-old magazines.

Does this certified, debilitating mental illness deserve a weekly timeslot? A one time special seems more suitable. Are we that desperate to feel better about ourselves that we need to watch others struggle just to maintain a household? I admit to watching it a few times. Initially, it was interesting.  It made me feel better about myself. Specifically my apartment. Dirty dishes? Who cares? It’s not like there’s a dead cat underneath them or anything.  Laundry? No dead cat. It can wait. And that dust on the TV stand? Talk to me when a cat dies on top of it. Moving on.

So yes, I too used their misfortune as an excuse to be lazy.  But then I thought, why not feature other mental illnesses that can make us feel better about our other insecurities. Like schizophrenics for instance. Jump to the wrong conclusion? No prob. At least you don’t think the government is actually a group of highly intelligent three-toed sloths that talk in whispers, wear acid wash trench coats and report to Gary Busey. You’re fine.

Or how about turrets syndrome? You’d feel better about anything you say after watching an episode. Put your foot in your mouth? No prob. At least you didn’t yell “ Pussy Fart” fifteen times at the top of your lungs at a funeral home. All is good.

Yes. We love watching of other people struggle. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. Ideally, all three. So where do we go from here? Maybe we should have a channel devoted to real-life married couples with horrible sex lives. Or a one-hour sitcom that’s just a guy, sitting in a shitty apartment drinking himself into a stupor. Followed by a reality-based show that features a 450lb man who, on a weekly basis,  engulfs multiple roast chickens until he cries himself to sleep. Mmm. Chicken.