Saying you'll be there in a certain number of "sleeps".
Skinny jeans.
People that insist that their dog loves to say hello which, intern, means you and your dog somehow owe it to them to stop and have a little meet and greet. My dog just wants to whiff your dog's ass, nothing more. I just want to keep walking.
Republicans.
Accidently saying or doing something memorable in the presence of someone you don't know very well. This usually leads to this moment being a "thing" between you and the other person. It can be anything. A shared interest in sports or a lunch purchase that they found interesting. I use a lot of hot sauce when I eat and got into a situation like this with someone who happened to notice at work. So, as it usually plays out, for months, every time I saw them I'd get comments like "hot enough for you?" followed by a grin or uncomfortable laugh. Getting out is difficult, if not impossible. Luckily, they were canned and I was free. Now I have one going with someone who saw me running for the street car. "Hey speedy, you woke up early today huh?"
White people who make a point of announcing/telling everyone about how they had Ethiopian food on the weekend.
People that go out of their way to look alternative and artsy. Something tells me Iggy Pop looked that way because he was/is fucked out of his mind. You can't buy that at Urban Outfitters. At least not yet.
Business guys talking about golf. What's not to hate?
Saying something was the best EVER!!! Like this was the best weekend ever! Saying or writing this reduces an adult to a 11-year old valley girl in a matter of seconds.
Flag waving world cup nonsense. Yes, you are from that country on your car flag. Good for you. Well done.
Ads that proclaim to be some sort of "movement". A call to arms to get out there and get involved. For a brand. Please stop. Ads are invasive enough as it is. Let's save movements for things that matter. Like looking alternative and or artsy.
I hate all ads that describe their products as "revolutionary". If it were truly revolutionary, it wouldn't need a thirty-second spot.
ReplyDeleteAnd since you brought up the World Cup, I also hate Euro-trash. I know it's obvious, but I mention it because my house in Santiago is overrun with them. It's all about going clubbing and eating nutella. I wish I were joking.
"Hey everyone! Look where I'm from!" Isn't it amazing that I'm from this place!!!!"
ReplyDeleteI had no idea you lived with them. You neglected to mention it. Wow. That home must be stewing with anger and dance beats.
ReplyDeleteAnd nutella.
ReplyDeletethis list is WAY shorter than I know it to be.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't feeling as spiteful as usual.
ReplyDelete