It's just hair

Why do razor ads have to be so prolific? Words like “maximum” or “mach 5” are tossed around like nobody’s business. It’s as if these technological wonders are fulfilling some innate need for advanced facial hair removal. Like we’ve all been waiting and biding our time for the next razor breakthrough. I have never paid so much attention to a shave. But in these ads, the guy always seems so pleased with how proficient his hair removal skills are. His girlfriend – usually looking on adoringly – is also impressed by his smooth, ultra, turbo, science-infused shave. Seems to me like they’re marketing to 10-year old boys. “Oh look, big words and flashy stuff. It’s like a rocket ship! I want to shave with a rocket ship. I’m going to buy this razor because it reminds me of a rocket ship.” It doesn’t work on me. I have a beard.  It’s a statement. I’m shunning the rocket ship. Your hair removal revolution will have no place in my bathroom. Who am I kidding? Rocket ships are super neat. Super-duper neat. Yeah, I said it.