There's no soul in a minivan.

 I’ve always loved hip hop. From the first time I heard it I was sold.  So, being the nerd I am, I embraced it in a relatively extreme manner. As my brother will happily recall, I did, at one point, fashion my moss-like hair into a flat-top complete with lines shaved into the side of my head.   The line thing got worse when myself and the other members of our school’s 400 metre relay team decided to shave the word “bye” into the back of our heads in anticipation of our dominance. We lost and the word “bye” quickly burnt into our skulls as we skulked out of the stadium.. But there’s more. How about a polka dot shirt? Complete Raiders outfits in honour of Public Enemy and NWA.  “Just Do It” track pants. Track pants! Patrick Ewing shoes. No running mans.  But I witnessed many. And may have offered an Arsenio Hall fist pump in support.

But with age came wisdom. I was a white kid with an extremely Italian name. What the hell was I doing? So I continued to embrace the music, but lost the soul brother persona. From there I got into funk, jazz, soul, etc.  Things I pursued and ended up deejaying for most of my twenties­– primarily to Tragically-Hip-listening- Tevas- with- socks-wearing Waterloo kids.  I made beats, produced a few groups, and continue to hunt for rare vinyl like the true nerd that I am.

Flash forward to today. I’m driving down the street, listening to some classic 90s hip hop, and I start bobbing my head. It felt natural. No big deal, right?. Until, of course, I notice that the car beside me has been watching me the whole time. I froze. Wow. Really? How do I recover? And why did I think that the windows of my car were some sort of shield from the prying eyes I was literally surrounded by? So I quickly decided to make it look like my neck was in need of a stretch – this would surely cover up what they had seen. It had to, but I doubt it did. So after a few moments of incredibly uncomfortable eye contact, I drove off, resisting the urge to bob my head, for fear of being discovered yet again.  The moral? People can see in your car. It’s not a safe zone. Windows are made of glass. People can see through glass. Bob your head cautiously. You’re white. Being in a Mazda 5 minivan certainly doesn’t change that.